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Paperback
Publisher: AltaMira Press
It started as a class project-- a young, married, small-town white woman interviewing a gay acquaintance and his circle of friends. From this developed a three year exploration of the complexities of carrying on gay-straight friendships. This reflexive, thoughtful, and compellingly-written study moves from gay bars to softball leagues to visits with families and friends, both gay and straight. During its course, the author develops a growing understanding of the differences between the two communities, the difficulties of developing bonds across groups, and the inherent rewards of seeking (and being) the Other in contemporary society. She explores sexuality, marriage, lifestyles, and the meanings of friendship, culminating in a boisterous dissertation defense attended by her new community of friends. As a study of a gay community, a narrative of personal development and change, and an exploration of the use of friendship in conducting research that transforms both participants and researcher, Tillmann-Healy's work will be compelling reading for scholars, students, and the broader community.
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| Sensitive, brave and enlightening |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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As someone who has been trying to understand a man whom I do care about, this book very much impressed me by the sensitivity of the author, her commitment to her gay friends and their lives, her brave journey of understanding, and her strong and deep call, motivated by her feelings, both to gay people, to whom it is about time to exercise their truly deserved self respect and straight people, to whom is about time to value what is most important: love and friendship. Thank you, Lisa.
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| Great book for communication studies |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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Hello. I was first introduced to this text in Thomas Frentz ethonography course during my graduate work at the University of Arkansas. I found it to be a wonderful text that I often refer too. Lisa uses vivid language and phenomonal research perspectives to create a wonderful book that truly details some of the relationship questions that surround gay/straight friendships. She also sensitively outlines many concerns that gay men have regarding their lives. Lisa has written an excellent text and I encourage everyone to purchase it. [...]
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| A must read for gay/straight friends |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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This is an amazing book. I could not put it down and finished it in 2 1/2 days. The author beautifully illustrates the compelling and often complex relationships between gay and straight friends. You ride an emotional roller coaster as you become angry at the hate in this world, cry over life's sorrows and laugh out loud while you become a part of the family the author and her participants create. And that is the real power of the book. It reveals that there is more than one definition of FAMILY! It is thought provoking and has helped me reaffirm my relationship with friends who have drifted away. I highly recommend it!
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| A study of understanding |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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This book is a compelling, thought provoking journey of a woman and husband into the lives of a culture unfamiliar to the author to try and bridge the gap of understanding between the two worlds. The author succesfully relays humor, emotional experiences,soul searching, and conversational analysis to get the reader to rethink his or her own compassion and communication with others. As a gay man, I walk away from Dr. Tillman-Healy's book inspired to reach out and be more sensitive to my fellow human beings. I recommend it to anyone who wants people to be more sensitve to them.
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| I wish you all could know Lisa Tillmann-Healy |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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My name is Tim Mahn. I'm one of Lisa's and her husband, Doug's, closest friends, a friendship that will never end. I'm also one of the participants in Lisa's story. I had some obvious reservations about writing a review for Lisa's book. However, I know the positive changes that Lisa tries to make in our world - not just between the gay and straight communities, but between all communities. I then knew that I needed to voice my gratitude and respect for what she unselfishly has done and continues to do for us by giving you my perspective as a participant in her incredibly loving story.
Because of Lisa's and Doug's unconditional love and respect for us as people, as gay men, and most importantly, as friends, and the many sacrifices they both make for all of us, we agreed to take a journey with Lisa that positively changed our lives forever. Through challenging emotional trials, the developing of strong, lasting friendships across sexual orientation and the rebuilding of damaged familial relationships, Lisa brought us to a place where we could grow as people, as friends, as children and as partners. She encouraged us to be proud of who we are and to help others to do the same. She challenged us, as gay men, to open the closet door for our straight friends and families and give them the opportunity to know us. And most importantly, she helped us to face our fears and begin healing ourselves, our friends and our families.
There are many people who can gain strength from this book and begin down a path that leads to a happier place. I know that I have.
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