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Paperback
Publisher: Harvest Books
Now updated with new material on AIDS and support groups, this “completely non-judgmental, very informative, and extremely effective book” (Library Journal)is a standard reference for parents of gays and lesbians.
If the coming out process is difficult for gay people, it is often equally difficult for their parents. Confusion, anger, and fear frequently cause fathers and mothers of gay men and lesbians to disavow, strike out against, and even resent their children. For many parents, a child's coming out feels like the ultimate rejection--not only of their dreams and hopes but of their own heterosexuality. In Now That You Know: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward--the mothers of, respectively, a gay man and a lesbian--have charted the rough seas that almost every parent of a gay person travels. Fairchild and Hayward presume that homosexuality is a positive good, and that it is willful ignorance and homophobia that are moral wrongs. They also believe that families can and should love all members and that it is distraught or confused parents (not their gay offspring) who must change. Mixing common sense with a firm sense of social justice and love, the authors systematically address almost all of the problems faced by parents of gay people. Answering questions on religion, AIDS, health, children, alternative families, and sex, they make the complicated gay world--often a nightmare vision for "just out" parents of gays--not only manageable but happy and nurturing. --Michael Bronski
| Customer Reviews: |
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| Gift |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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I gave this book as a gift to a dear friend of mine who not too long ago found out her daughter is a lesbian. she has found it enlightening and I was glad that I can help her through this process.
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| Little Help for Me |
| Customer Rating: 2 out of 5 |
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I heard a lot about this book and I thought it would help me deal with my coming out dilemma. but I guess its my parents who needs understanding and not me. So this book doesn't help at all in that area as my parents are not English-speaking or understanding.
I would like to know if there are some similar books that are available in Hindi for the Indian population.Or may be a translation version would be of great help.
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| Ungrateful Reviewers Expect Too Much From Little Old Ladies |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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I just wanted to comment how the extremely poor star ratings here reflect a kind of selfish bigotry of readers. This 70's book couldn't really be updated because the authors are in a very late stage of life. It is so selfish and arrogant of these reviewers to expect the authors to update their book to meet the times. That would take an entire rewrite. Why give something helpful in another era such a bad rap? I just thought it poor taste, that if the book is apparently outdated, don't bother even reviewing it. It served a purpose for a different time period.
I was Ms. Fairchild's roommate in the late 90's and she appeared on the Leeza Show in 1999 to discuss her book and various issues. She was 65 back then and today's she's nearing her 80's. She has better things to do with her last days then rewrite a book. These old mothers aren't your slaves, try pulling your head out of you know where and show a little respect for your elders who opened doors for the gay community long ago.
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| Instead of this book, try.... |
| Customer Rating: 1 out of 5 |
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In my April, 1999 review of this book (somewhere among the reviews listed here), I said there were better books now available. Several people have e-mailed me asking me to be more specific. OK. I now recommend the following to my students. They are both excellent and different from each other (as the titles imply): Beyond Acceptance : Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences; Carolyn Welch Griffin, et al. Coming Out to Parents : A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents; Mary V. Borhek
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| This book is sadly out of date. |
| Customer Rating: 1 out of 5 |
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Upon the recommendation of others, I bought this book; however, many better choices exist for parents dealing with the new knowledge that they have a gay child. This book's information comes from the 70s. Even though the book has been republished twice, the authors have done an inadequate job of keeping up-to-date. I'm sure the book seemed heaven sent in the early 80s, but not now.
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